OR: Convey Me my heart and Soul, I'm Going In!
(footnote: I would like to thank all those people who took the time to read and/or comment on the blog "No Constitutional Amendment against Lefties." Once again, the conversation showed the intelligence and decorum of the JoeUser!")
The 1992 election was winding down and the American people were still undecided about whether they would vote for George Bush or Bill Clinton. Networks were doing audience participation "town hall meetings" and "round table discussions" about whom the voter would choose in less than 4 weeks. There seemed to be almost a classic sense of division between voters who liked the incumbent because he was a good leader in war (Gulg Storm I) but the economy was weak and that seemed unforgiveable for a Republican. The Democratic candidate was charismatic and promised economic good times, but had a history suggesting (pre-Lewinski days) that maybe you wouldn't want this man to marry your daughter.
The election was too close to call but many political pundits, looking at the electoral map felt Bush would hold on by a very small margin.
And then there was the word.
And the word was "Bozo."
Seemingly within hours of President Bush saying it, the world came crashing down. States that were projected Bush became toss-ups, all the toss-ups became Clinton and the election was lost. No amount of interviews Bush could do after that ever came close to erasing the stain. Voters weren't having it, pundits were embarrassed and Clinton made plans for January. Someone had actually done something even sillier than he did.
There is a saying in chess that the winner of a chess game is the one who makes the "next to last" mistake. President Bush was just off by one.
This past weekend at a fundraiser for John Kerry, the Hollywood elite turned out for the Democratic candidate with 7.5 million dollars ready to put on his plate. Hollywood is afraid of Republican censorship, lowered funding, and intrusion into the arts. Now, a fundraiser is not a public event. It is not a campaign stop in Milwaukee and it is good to remember that the President also does fund raisers and nice things are not said by campaign contributors about John Kerry. But since Kerry's contributors were from Hollywood they gain noteriety for their use of words like "thug" and "not as sharp as an egg timer." Kerry reportedly responded by saying at the end of the evening (not in direct reference to the preceeding nasty comments) that Hollywood "conveyed" the heart and soul of America (he did not say they "were" the heart and soul as some reporters first suggested).
Every election starts out as a contest of ideas. Candidate A is for, B is against or vice-versa or their both for or against with different approaches. Save social security, Al Gore and George Bush said, just depended on whether you wanted a "locked box." Once the issues are on the table and every voter is sure they have no idea which candidate is the worst one then the mudslinging commences. This year the mudslinging is early meaning we are about to witness one of the longest shootouts not associated with the World Cup.
Since, by example, my opinion that the "mud" can sometimes be an issue in itself, there is a need by the voters (if you are American) to consider some standards for how you want to "keep score" in this dubious contest of "Election Hurling." (Oooh, how's that for an Olympic Sport?) First, a candidate receives a point if and only if voters don't seem to mind (as in, they say in polls, "that was ok". The Judge's decisions (your's) are final.) A candidate loses a point if you think it is outrageous (they are still tallying the losing points on Bozo now 12 years later). A candidate gets a 5 point bonus if the opposing candidate then responds with "mud" and that becomes what everyone talks about.
I will accept suggestions for other point scores as this is early in the competition and there will be plenty of time to rescore previous decisions. Now, I have only one more qualification: Public means public. Fundraisers where George and John call each other words that would get Howard Stern fined are not in play (think of them as "warm-ups"). Even if the media (FOX for Mr. Bush and CNN for Mr. Kerry) want to sell you a new Lexus to listen, both men are entitled to their time with their "support groups."
This should be real fun, folks, shouldn't it?
As for me, I'll be right back after this commercial for the new Cadillac Thugster! "